i carry your heart with me ( i carry it in my heart)

I love this poem by E.E. Cummings.  I have for a very long time.


This poem says exactly how I feel about my husband any my babies.


Someday I think a tattoo of  "i carry your heart with me ( i carry it in my heart)" will be a must.  I'm working on designing it myself.  I also found a beautiful piece of jewelry with the poem on it.  I can't wait to get it.


I'm a sentimental sap to the billionth degree and this poem gets me every time.

 ♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia

53 Days...

I have 53 days to realize a really big dream that I've only really talked to my husband about, and maybe to my mom in passing. 

I realized yesterday that I can talk a really good game, but don't put things into action.  Yesterday, I gave myself a time limit.  I told people about it.  I'm blogging about it.  I don't want egg on my face.  I want to succeed.  So what better way then by putting it out there?  Keeping me accountable, ya know.

So at 12:00 AM on 1/1/11, I will open Chaps Buffalino Urban Textiles on Etsy.  What better day to start a new chapter of our lives then on 1/1/11?  Love it! 

What exactly is Chaps Buffalino, you ask?  Well, it really is only a name that has any significance to just my husband and I, but at the same time, it's the only name that fits for this venture.  My hubby and I are kinda nerdy, and we find humor in some really dumb stuff.  One day we were talking about chaps, and I said chaps with a "ch" sound, and he said that it was pronounced with an "sh" sound, well it struck me as super funny and then he was laughing and somehow "buffalino" got in there, and in between all of that Chaps Buffalino was our running joke of a nickname for each other.  See, I told you it wouldn't really mean that much to anyone except us, but that is exactly why it's perfect.  From then on, we've had many funny moments, and I always said, "Someday I'm going to open up a tee-shirt business with that saying on it, and I'm going to call it Chaps Buffalino!"  Well "someday" is here, and I'm not looking back.  I chose Urban Textiles to go with it because I don't want to be boxed in by just tee-shirts.  In fact, I'm not even starting with those.  Chaps Buffalino Urban Textiles is part comical, part kitschy, part cute, part cool, party nerdy, part baby...everything that is us.  We will be doing screenprinted items like tea towels, napkins, canvas bags, prints, and a lot of other stuff as we grow.  Starting out, I'll likely just offer a few things and then keep on going.  I am beyond excited!  And I'm even more excited to be sharing it with all of you.  I'm going to add a tab at the tops for Chaps Buffalino, and maybe down the road, it will have its own blog. 

I have to tell you, the process of screenprinting is so creatively fulfilling to me that I can't even fully explain it.  I don't know how to effectively get all my jumbled thoughts out to get the point across of how happy it makes me.  The entire process.  All the artwork printed is original works of mine, either things I've drawn or taken photographs of.  Now, before you think I'm some artist, I don't really consider myself one.  I am a doodler, that if given enough time, and enough inspiration, can produce something that I like. But it takes work, and lots of paper and erasers!  But then going from that to burning a screen with that image, and then getting messy with the ink, and then having a final piece encompassing all the steps and processes...it's mind-blowing!!  I'm kinda unconventional (limited computer use) in my process, and it's probably more work in the long run, but I love it.  Each and every step is mine...from the first spark of an idea, to the many rough drafts, to the final image, to the final product...it is so completely rewarding.

So, please check back often during the next 53 days!  On 1/1/11 starting at 12:00 AM, we will be ringing in the new year with a blog party, complete with prizes!

Peace out!

Someday...

I've lived a lot of my life hinging on the hope of Someday. In the beginning I used it all the time as a way to keep my dreams alive. To not give up. To look forward to something. If you don't have Someday then why get up in the morning? This was my mantra for the better part of my 20's and the first few years of my 30's.


Lately, things are wonky. But, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I've been feeling like I take a left when everybody else is taking a right, but I really want to take a right, but I don't and choose left, then I'm regretting. I hate regret.


My husband has been feeling the same way, but we just couldn't put our fingers on it. Then on the 4th of July he woke me up out of a dead sleep at 1:30 in the morning. He had written this blog and wanted me to read it. Right there in that very second, he had the answer to our woes. It couldn't wait for morning. To be honest, in the moment I was kinda confused...I was groggy after all, but then we had a really deep conversation in the middle of the night that had changed everything.


Someday is bad. Someday is very bad. Someday allows you to fail. Someday allows you talk a big game without producing any real results. Someday allows you to live in a dream world. Someday had been suffocating me...us...for a very long time.


So, on that night, we vowed to not use that word. That doesn't mean we've given up goals and dreams, but we've set realistic expectations and we're going more with the flow. We've stopped freaking out about where we thought we would be versus where we currently are.


Since that night, our moods are much lighter, we have found out that making decisions on some things we wrestled with before are much easier to tackle now that Someday has been banished.


Since this epiphany in our lives, some bizarro stuff has been happening to both of us. I'm a total "sign reader", and I've been getting some pretty heavy signs lately. Usually Greg just kinda looks at me like, "Really, you think that is a sign? Whatever." But, he's been getting some too lately. It's like God is letting us know we've finally figured it out...like it was the magic key for us to unlock the door to the next phase of our lives. We're getting His message loud and clear.


So, the other night we go see the Knight & Day with Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz (usually can't stand these two, but they were great in this movie), and Tom's character says to Cameron's character:


"Someday. That's a dangerous word. **at this point, Greg and I look at each other and our eyes are practically popping out of our heads** It's really just a code for "never"."


Well, you can imagine our surprise. And with that, we promised to stop dwelling on the past, start working on the now, and stop wishing for Someday.

Weekend Rewind

Friday night I spruced up the house while hubby had an impromptu happy hour with a guy from work who decided that day, he had wasted enough of his life in a cube. Empowering! I’m also jealous! Best part was Greg’s text later in the night, “OMG. I’m knee-deep in douche.” They were at a bar off the beaten path in Old Town Scottsdale. Greg said for the majority of the night, it was low-key, but then the magic hour of 10 p.m. happened and all the douche bags came out of hiding. This prompted Greg’s Facebook status for Saturday morning: “Spent the evening in Old Town. Spring Break/Training in the air brings out the ladies, which in turn brings out the pressed designer shirts, jeans, and Italian leather boots. Ed Hardy hunting parties in search of broken heels and slurred words. Ah, the circle of life.” Greg cracks me up.

Saturday, we took the kids to the Arizona Science Center. It was a great time. Lots of fun stuff to see and explore. Think Greg and I may have had more fun exploring. It cost $35 for all of us to get in. Not bad. To see the really cool exhibits costs extra, so it could easily turn into a Disneyland experience with regards to forking money over. There is enough to do without the extra exhibits on your first time going.  There were even a few places we could let the Fat Boy down and run around.  He was digging all the blocks and open space.

Bad lighting + camera phone = crappy blurred picture.

Penelope tried rock climbing on a rock wall. She did pretty good, but got panicked a bit once she was well above our heads. But, she got down like a champ and we were just proud that she was brave enough to try it.

Getting instructions...

Climbing...

Getting a little scared...Daddy talking her through it.

Sunday was just tinkering around the house and a neighborhood princess party to attend to. Ended our weekend by grocery shopping where the next little tidbit happened. Although it does sound funny, it kinda through Greg and I for a loop we hadn’t anticipated dodging for some time.

In the line at the store:

Greg: (Mouths to me) “Look at your daughter.”

Of course she’s my daughter when she does something bad. It’s okay, I do the same thing to Greg!

I look over and Penelope is face-to-face kissing the US/People/Star whatever smut magazine. Literally mouth puckered on the mag, moving her head back and forth.

I gasp, look at Greg who looks like he might vomit or die of hysterics, or maybe both at the same time.

Me: “Penelope! What are you doing??”

Penelope: “Nothing.” As she shyly twists and turns and turns red from embarrassment.

What the fuck people? Seriously. She is 4 ½.

Me: “You need to stop that. It’s inappropriate for a little girl like you.”
Penelope: “Ok Mama.”

Greg is rubbing his head, shaking it in a “No” fashion, and I can tell his blood pressure is rising. Penelope is his baby girl…no boys allowed ever! Especially not at 4 years old.

We get settled in the truck, and we ask her why she was kissing the magazine. Sheepishly she replies that she doesn’t know. But with gentle prodding we ask her again and her reply is, “Because Mama! I wanted to kiss a handsome boy.”

Oh Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Oh it gets better. The “Handsome Boy” she wanted to kiss, was Cory Fucking Haim!! Rest In Peace, but please!

We both told her it was not appropriate for her to kiss boys at this age. Yadda Yadda Yadda. I know this is part of growing up, but shit…I don’t really want to have to explain the depths of the birds and the bees already. She picks up so much crap at school and it’s disheartening. My only saving grace at this point, is her moral compass is pretty strong and she comes home and tells me things that she doesn’t think are right. She trusts us as her parents…trusts that she can tell us things and she won’t get in trouble. I feel old-fashioned, but I’m just not ready for this. I don’t think it’s right and I don’t think it’s cute, and I think as parents we shouldn’t egg this type of behavior on. I’ll get off my soap box now.

Anybody have a great cocktail recipe?

Twilight Schmilight...

I read all 4 books in a week and a half because they were so good. Couldn't put them down. Last night Greg (bless his heart) took me to see the movie.

What a waste of $19.50.

I was actually embarrased that I made Greg go with me. He would lovingly look at me during the movie so that I wouldn't feel bad. But, really, his look was more like, "Oh My God. This movie sucks, but I love you so much, I'm going to keep smiling so you don't feel bad. YOU OWE ME." LOL!

Thanks Babe!