Showing posts with label Olivia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Olivia. Show all posts
9.28.2011
Am I In The Wrong Job?
My "notes" from an Email Etiquette meeting this morning.
It is 2011, right?
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
9.21.2011
One Step At A Time...
I didn’t know him very long, but he changed my life. He changed me as a person. He broke my heart and healed it all at once. He lit a fire in my soul to change the world that I didn’t even know existed.
They make me want to change the world. To break down doors, to bust down barriers, to not take no for an answer. I want to make them proud of me. I want them to grow old with their own beautiful families.
I do not want them to die before me.
Children’s cancer research is grossly underfunded and it’s time for it to stop. Our babies deserve a voice, they deserve us to never stop fighting for them. They need advocates, and it’s our responsibility as an older generation to never give up on them and FIGHT, because they cannot do these things on their own. We brought them into this world, we must never give up on them. We owe this to them.
I don’t need an urn full of ashes to make me want to fight. Imagining it...fuck...that is gut-wrenching enough for me to want to DO SOMETHING.
I found this website
Despite major advancements in recent years, much work remains to find treatments and cures for children’s cancer. Cancer remains the leading cause of death by disease in children and two-thirds of patients have life-altering and life-threatening side effects from the currently available treatments. Children’s Oncology Group research efforts are focused on many types of cancer including those that are hardest to treat, as well as reducing complications that result from treatment.
The Children’s Oncology Group is chaired by Peter Adamson, MD. Dr. Adamson is Chief of the Division of Clinical Pharmacology & Therapeutics and Director of the Office of Clinical and Translational Research at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Susan Blaney, MD is vice chair of the Children’s Oncology Group. Dr. Blaney is Vice Chair for Research in the Department of Pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine and Deputy Director of Texas Children's Cancer and Hematology Centers.
Children’s Oncology Group was formed in 2000 when four pediatric cancer clinical trials groups joined forces. Comprised of 210 treatment centers in North America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa, COG includes more than 6,500 individual members. The COG receives funding from the national non-profit foundation, CureSearch for Children’s Cancer which receives grants from the National Cancer Institute and raises funds through philanthropic donations from individuals, special events, corporations and private foundations.
Children’s Oncology Group hospitals treat 90 percent of children with cancer in the United States, providing the unmatched combination of global expertise and local care. This means that every child and care team has complete access to the latest research and world-class treatments at hospitals within close to home.
Get Involved!
On the curesearch.org site (click here) you can join (free) the advocate group. Once you fill in your info, it gives you the contact info for your local congressman. You can set aside time each week to contact your congressman. They work for us! It’s time WE tell THEM what we WANT.
I’m on a personal quest, although my journey is for millions. Help me.
DO SOMETHING with me.
With all this being said, I’m walking in the CureSearch Walk for Children’s Cancer in February of 2012 in Phoenix. Right now, I’m a one-man team. If you’re local, I’d love for you to join my team: One Step At A Time. My team goal is $5000. If I can raise this $5000, it goes directly to Children’s Cancer Research…all of it. Not just 3%, not just 50%...it all goes to the kids. I know times are tough, but if you could just give up one treat for yourself (a coffee, a meal, a mani/pedi, etc. and donate it to this great cause, I would be forever grateful. Together we can make a difference. One Step At A Time.
Go here to donate:
http://www.curesearchwalk.org/phoenix/dosomething
In the words of Ben Lee...
What’s in your heart
What’s in your head
It’s one or the other these days
The quick or the dead
Sometimes we gotta fight
So don’t you complain
Cuz I never promised this would be easy babe
You and me gonna rise up
And they will be surprised yup
Everything’s weird
Soon they’ll be gone
Cuz our whispered words
Are louder than bombs
So don’t you lose faith
And say it’s no fun
Cuz we’ve come too far to stop
Before we’re done
You and me gonna rise up
And they will be surprised yup
Sometimes we get lost
But soon we’ll be found
This is far too important
To turn back now
You and me gonna rise up
And they will be surprised yup
♥ ♥ ♥
 |
| www.rockstarronan.com The Ronan Thompson Foundation |
He died.
They make me want to change the world. To break down doors, to bust down barriers, to not take no for an answer. I want to make them proud of me. I want them to grow old with their own beautiful families.
I do not want them to die before me.
Children’s cancer research is grossly underfunded and it’s time for it to stop. Our babies deserve a voice, they deserve us to never stop fighting for them. They need advocates, and it’s our responsibility as an older generation to never give up on them and FIGHT, because they cannot do these things on their own. We brought them into this world, we must never give up on them. We owe this to them.
I don’t need an urn full of ashes to make me want to fight. Imagining it...fuck...that is gut-wrenching enough for me to want to DO SOMETHING.
I found this website
Who We Are
The Children’s Oncology Group (COG) is the world’s largest, cooperative children’s cancer research entity. It brings together treatment centers, physicians, laboratory scientists, nurses, psychologists and others working to beat cancer in children, adolescents and young adults. Through collaborative research, the Children’s Oncology Group has improved rates for children’s cancer at a pace much faster than any one individual or single institution could accomplish alone. The Children’s Oncology Group research has turned children’s cancer from a virtually incurable disease 40 years ago to one with an overall cure rate of 78 percent today.Despite major advancements in recent years, much work remains to find treatments and cures for children’s cancer. Cancer remains the leading cause of death by disease in children and two-thirds of patients have life-altering and life-threatening side effects from the currently available treatments. Children’s Oncology Group research efforts are focused on many types of cancer including those that are hardest to treat, as well as reducing complications that result from treatment.
The Children’s Oncology Group is chaired by Peter Adamson, MD. Dr. Adamson is Chief of the Division of Clinical Pharmacology & Therapeutics and Director of the Office of Clinical and Translational Research at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Susan Blaney, MD is vice chair of the Children’s Oncology Group. Dr. Blaney is Vice Chair for Research in the Department of Pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine and Deputy Director of Texas Children's Cancer and Hematology Centers.
What We Do
Children’s Oncology Group:- designs and conducts about 100 clinical trials annually to find the best treatments for children and adolescents with cancer;
- conducts laboratory research that will translate into more effective treatments with reduced side effects;
- looks for the causes of childhood cancer with the goal of one day preventing cancer;
- conducts research to improve quality of life and survivorship; and
- seeks international partnerships, when necessary, to fulfill its mission.
Children’s Oncology Group was formed in 2000 when four pediatric cancer clinical trials groups joined forces. Comprised of 210 treatment centers in North America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa, COG includes more than 6,500 individual members. The COG receives funding from the national non-profit foundation, CureSearch for Children’s Cancer which receives grants from the National Cancer Institute and raises funds through philanthropic donations from individuals, special events, corporations and private foundations.
Children’s Oncology Group hospitals treat 90 percent of children with cancer in the United States, providing the unmatched combination of global expertise and local care. This means that every child and care team has complete access to the latest research and world-class treatments at hospitals within close to home.
Why is Collaborative Research Important?
While nearly 13,500 children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer each year, there are many different kinds of children’s cancer. When divided into the specific cancer types, the number of children with each is relatively small. In research, large numbers of patients are critical to ensuring that study results are meaningful. By enrolling patients from many hospitals in the same trial, the results become statistically significant. This approach is called collaborative research and is how the Children’s Oncology Group functions.Get Involved!
On the curesearch.org site (click here) you can join (free) the advocate group. Once you fill in your info, it gives you the contact info for your local congressman. You can set aside time each week to contact your congressman. They work for us! It’s time WE tell THEM what we WANT.
I’m on a personal quest, although my journey is for millions. Help me.
DO SOMETHING with me.
With all this being said, I’m walking in the CureSearch Walk for Children’s Cancer in February of 2012 in Phoenix. Right now, I’m a one-man team. If you’re local, I’d love for you to join my team: One Step At A Time. My team goal is $5000. If I can raise this $5000, it goes directly to Children’s Cancer Research…all of it. Not just 3%, not just 50%...it all goes to the kids. I know times are tough, but if you could just give up one treat for yourself (a coffee, a meal, a mani/pedi, etc. and donate it to this great cause, I would be forever grateful. Together we can make a difference. One Step At A Time.
Go here to donate:
http://www.curesearchwalk.org/phoenix/dosomething
In the words of Ben Lee...
What’s in your heart
What’s in your head
It’s one or the other these days
The quick or the dead
Sometimes we gotta fight
So don’t you complain
Cuz I never promised this would be easy babe
You and me gonna rise up
And they will be surprised yup
Everything’s weird
Soon they’ll be gone
Cuz our whispered words
Are louder than bombs
So don’t you lose faith
And say it’s no fun
Cuz we’ve come too far to stop
Before we’re done
You and me gonna rise up
And they will be surprised yup
Sometimes we get lost
But soon we’ll be found
This is far too important
To turn back now
You and me gonna rise up
And they will be surprised yup
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
6.26.2011
Highway Of Regret
It's always on my mind. Sometimes hidden underneath layers of faux confidence, sometimes screaming right in my face. But it is always within reach.
My weight.
I've never been thin. Yes, I have been a lot thinner then I am now, but even at my fittest, I was solid muscle - no waifish figure here, and the scale still registered on a number that most women would cringe at. I was healthy though. No fat on my stomach...for the first time in my life. My legs were rock hard, no cellulite, my arms had definition. And the best...no back fat. Clothes slid on to my body and I didn't have to suck it in, or do squats to stretch a piece of clothing out. This was post boot camp body. No, not as in some cheesy "boot camp" class at your local gym. I'm talking real-life-kick-your-ass-ARMY boot camp. Of course I was in the best shape of my life.
...
I have an addiction. And at first it doesn't seem like it's a real "addiction" like heroine or meth, because my over-eating doesn't directly effect anyone. By that I mean, I don't steal from my family to support my habit, I don't beat my kids when I come off a high or because I can't get my fix. But, my addiction to food is real, and it's painful, and at times all-consuming. For thin people who have never been fat I don't think it's comprehensible to understand or even tolerate. Much like it's hard for me to understand how someone can be an alcoholic or a drug addict.
I'm quite certain I can pin-point various events in my life that have led to my behavior. I'm not going to share those here, and I'm not blaming my food addiction solely to these events, as I am still the one who puts the fork to my mouth. However, my past has been peppered with specific instances that have literally changed my way of thinking, and now I have to find the real Olivia that I know exists...she's just hidden under layers of fat and self-deprecation.
Everyone who has ever lost weight has the same story: "Finally one day I just woke up and realized enough was enough."
I've had many false starts in my life, and each and every time I fail, I think that maybe I'm just destined to be a fat person. But, there is some part of me that always is rebuking this in my head..."Go fuck yourself! You're just lazy. It's easier to be defeated than to get your lazy ass off the couch and actually DO SOMETHING. You owe it to yourself. You owe it your husband. You owe it to your children." Usually the devil in me wins and I don't do a damn thing.
34 has come and hit me like a fucking freight train. I have aches and pains that I'm quite certain should be reserved for someone at least 15 years older than me. I am broken down and I've had enough.
I had started hiking a mountain with some co-workers on our lunch breaks. It felt good and I felt determined, and I even lost a little bit of weight. I hadn't really worked on my eating because "one thing at a time" you know. Then I have been plagued with some back and hip problems and I've been sidelined and it sucks.
Then I went to see my chiropractor. He gave me some solid advice. He told me I need to really stop focusing on the physical aspect of losing weight and getting in shape. He told me to just start walking, and really focus on my diet. Regardless, if I cut the crap in my diet, even with minimal exercise, I will lose weight. He also said I need to start lifting weights to get more strength as well. I need to do all this before I really get going on running, hiking, etc. So, instead of going all gung-ho with physical crap, I'm going to really focus on my diet and do a little soul-searching to see why I eat what I eat.
I've become a person, a mom, a wife that I never wanted to be. You know the kind of mom who rarely does her make-up, maybe just for special occasions, I don't do my hair...just throw it back in a fucking "mom pony", pick from my crappy selection of "business casual" wear and go about my day. Well, I don't like what I see in the mirror. I haven't for a long time, but I've been defeated, until today. I'm not sure what my plan will be, but I know I'm going to take one day at a time, and maybe even at times it will be minute by minute or hour by hour.
I read the following quote by Joy Bauer in a magazine today. I love it.
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
My weight.
I've never been thin. Yes, I have been a lot thinner then I am now, but even at my fittest, I was solid muscle - no waifish figure here, and the scale still registered on a number that most women would cringe at. I was healthy though. No fat on my stomach...for the first time in my life. My legs were rock hard, no cellulite, my arms had definition. And the best...no back fat. Clothes slid on to my body and I didn't have to suck it in, or do squats to stretch a piece of clothing out. This was post boot camp body. No, not as in some cheesy "boot camp" class at your local gym. I'm talking real-life-kick-your-ass-ARMY boot camp. Of course I was in the best shape of my life.
...
I have an addiction. And at first it doesn't seem like it's a real "addiction" like heroine or meth, because my over-eating doesn't directly effect anyone. By that I mean, I don't steal from my family to support my habit, I don't beat my kids when I come off a high or because I can't get my fix. But, my addiction to food is real, and it's painful, and at times all-consuming. For thin people who have never been fat I don't think it's comprehensible to understand or even tolerate. Much like it's hard for me to understand how someone can be an alcoholic or a drug addict.
I'm quite certain I can pin-point various events in my life that have led to my behavior. I'm not going to share those here, and I'm not blaming my food addiction solely to these events, as I am still the one who puts the fork to my mouth. However, my past has been peppered with specific instances that have literally changed my way of thinking, and now I have to find the real Olivia that I know exists...she's just hidden under layers of fat and self-deprecation.
Everyone who has ever lost weight has the same story: "Finally one day I just woke up and realized enough was enough."
I've had many false starts in my life, and each and every time I fail, I think that maybe I'm just destined to be a fat person. But, there is some part of me that always is rebuking this in my head..."Go fuck yourself! You're just lazy. It's easier to be defeated than to get your lazy ass off the couch and actually DO SOMETHING. You owe it to yourself. You owe it your husband. You owe it to your children." Usually the devil in me wins and I don't do a damn thing.
34 has come and hit me like a fucking freight train. I have aches and pains that I'm quite certain should be reserved for someone at least 15 years older than me. I am broken down and I've had enough.
I had started hiking a mountain with some co-workers on our lunch breaks. It felt good and I felt determined, and I even lost a little bit of weight. I hadn't really worked on my eating because "one thing at a time" you know. Then I have been plagued with some back and hip problems and I've been sidelined and it sucks.
Then I went to see my chiropractor. He gave me some solid advice. He told me I need to really stop focusing on the physical aspect of losing weight and getting in shape. He told me to just start walking, and really focus on my diet. Regardless, if I cut the crap in my diet, even with minimal exercise, I will lose weight. He also said I need to start lifting weights to get more strength as well. I need to do all this before I really get going on running, hiking, etc. So, instead of going all gung-ho with physical crap, I'm going to really focus on my diet and do a little soul-searching to see why I eat what I eat.
I've become a person, a mom, a wife that I never wanted to be. You know the kind of mom who rarely does her make-up, maybe just for special occasions, I don't do my hair...just throw it back in a fucking "mom pony", pick from my crappy selection of "business casual" wear and go about my day. Well, I don't like what I see in the mirror. I haven't for a long time, but I've been defeated, until today. I'm not sure what my plan will be, but I know I'm going to take one day at a time, and maybe even at times it will be minute by minute or hour by hour.
The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
5.18.2011
i carry your heart with me ( i carry it in my heart)
I love this poem by E.E. Cummings. I have for a very long time.
This poem says exactly how I feel about my husband any my babies.
Someday I think a tattoo of "i carry your heart with me ( i carry it in my heart)" will be a must. I'm working on designing it myself. I also found a beautiful piece of jewelry with the poem on it. I can't wait to get it.
I'm a sentimental sap to the billionth degree and this poem gets me every time.
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
This poem says exactly how I feel about my husband any my babies.
Someday I think a tattoo of "i carry your heart with me ( i carry it in my heart)" will be a must. I'm working on designing it myself. I also found a beautiful piece of jewelry with the poem on it. I can't wait to get it.
I'm a sentimental sap to the billionth degree and this poem gets me every time.
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
5.17.2011
Samara
I ♥ the Internet. I ♥ blogging.
Internet + Blogging = Samara
I've known Samara for a few years now. We've chatted through our blogs, email and Facebook for a very long time. At one point, I'm quite sure besides my mom, that Sam was the ONLY person reading this blog.
I only met Sam face-to-face a few weeks ago. What a surreal experience...to feel like you know someone, but you've never physically met? Well, it was fabulous. We had a little photo shoot, and below is the beauty of Samara.
She helped me see that photography truly is a passion of mine. One that I'm going to pursue again (see my photography tab at the top of the blog), the way I like, on my own terms, no looking back or second guessing.
Thank you Samara for everything ♥
Olivia
5.16.2011
Full Cup
“Death is a part of life. Rejoice for those around you…”
~Yoda
~Yoda
Ronan’s memorial was yesterday. I was dreading it. I’ve only been to a few funerals in my life and they were somber and dreadful. Mostly I was terrified going because Ronan is just a babe, and as a mother, I still can’t wrap my head around any parent losing a child.
However, it was one of the most beautiful nights I have ever been a part of. This was a celebration of Ronan’s life. We were to remember his fiery independent spirit, and not dwell on the fact that he is no longer here. It was amazing. Nothing short of breathtaking. To see everyone wearing all shades of white, cream, and splashes of pale purple, was gorgeous. The air was thick with love, and when we released balloons in the air, you couldn’t help but feel a quiet peacefulness that no one has felt in a long time. Through out the night I’d feel little gusts of wind whipping around, and I couldn’t help but think it was Ronan. It made me smile. I am forever grateful and changed by Ronan and the journey of the Thompson Family. I’ve been searching for a cause to fight for, and now I have one. Children’s cancer is so grossly underfunded and I’m determined to help change that.
I sat back and watched us all interact with each other for a moment. I couldn’t help but feel happily overwhelmed by watching us…taking nibbles off each other plates, sharing a look, squeezing a hand. There is a level of comfort and familiarity among people you grew up with regardless of how much time has passed. Each and every time I experience this; it overwhelms me, and makes me thankful of where I came from.
♥ ♥ ♥
Olivia
5.10.2011
Lots Of Shit
So, this is my 100th post. Yay. Whatever.
My friend's son died of cancer yesterday.
I'm thinking about deleting Facebook.
Random stuff, but it's all intertwined. Not sure if I'll clearly explain what I'm feeling, but here it goes.
I can't sleep. Previously in my life, when I'm stressed, sad or frustrated, my body just goes into sleep mode. I'm not one to sit and worry myself out of sleep. Quite the opposite. So, now something has changed...I've been awake since 2:45, and I don't think sleep is trying to find me.
I've posted about the little Rockstar Ronan I know, and his courageous fight with Neuroblastoma since last August when he was first diagnosed. Little Ronan Sean passed away peacefully yesterday morning in his mama's arms. I still find it surreal, and I hurt selfishly on a level I didn't even know existed. I keep asking myself, "How can I hurt so badly for a child that isn't even mine?" At work yesterday I was a complete mess. Everyone was asking what was wrong, and when I told them, they cried with me. Ronan has touched that many people. For that I will be forever grateful, but I always believed he would make it. I never let myself believe that death would be the final outcome. Maybe I was naive, or maybe I just believed that if I had enough faith, thought only positive thoughts, that that would somehow will the outcome I had wanted. I hurt for my friend.
This has all lead me to deleting my Facebook page. I haven't done it yet, but I posted last night that I was and left my email for those people who wanted to keep in contact. Ever since then I've been wrestling with that. Because Facebook has brought a lot of people back into my life who I totally enjoy. But it's brought a ton of sadness as well. And I'm not the type of person that can separate myself from it. I feel for people on a level that sometimes I wish I didn't. Maya's son got cancer and died. Before Facebook, Maya and I hadn't talked since I graduated. Amy's husband died suddenly and left her and 3 children behind. He was 36. I hadn't talked to Amy since graduation. Dave's sister was murdered by her ex-husband. I haven't talked to Dave since he graduated. Do you see what I'm getting at? These people's lives through Facebook have directly and indirectly affected mine in such ways I wish selfishly weren't possible. Only because I feel like I'm in a constant state or sorrow, sadness, anger, etc. because of the posts on Facebook. I don't think about these people as adults...I transport myself back to a time when we were kids and how carefree we were, and how we all had these hopes and dreams, and the above experiences would never have been a part of that. I know life is hard, and shit happens, but I'm a super emotional twit, and sometimes I think I just feel too much, and it sends me on a emotional roller coaster that effects everyone around me, and that isn't fair either. Sometimes I feel like I can't post funny stuff to Facebook because it really isn't important when people are dying. So my rash decision is to delete Facebook. As I write this, I don't think I will delete it, but rather suspend it for a while...clean out my "friends" list...get my priorities straight.
I've missed this blog of mine, but lately haven't felt like what I have to say really matters. But, this is my little space that I truly enjoy and I'm going to keep it that way.
Please keep The Thompson Family in your thoughts and prayers.
Be happy.
♥
Olivia
My friend's son died of cancer yesterday.
I'm thinking about deleting Facebook.
Random stuff, but it's all intertwined. Not sure if I'll clearly explain what I'm feeling, but here it goes.
I can't sleep. Previously in my life, when I'm stressed, sad or frustrated, my body just goes into sleep mode. I'm not one to sit and worry myself out of sleep. Quite the opposite. So, now something has changed...I've been awake since 2:45, and I don't think sleep is trying to find me.
I've posted about the little Rockstar Ronan I know, and his courageous fight with Neuroblastoma since last August when he was first diagnosed. Little Ronan Sean passed away peacefully yesterday morning in his mama's arms. I still find it surreal, and I hurt selfishly on a level I didn't even know existed. I keep asking myself, "How can I hurt so badly for a child that isn't even mine?" At work yesterday I was a complete mess. Everyone was asking what was wrong, and when I told them, they cried with me. Ronan has touched that many people. For that I will be forever grateful, but I always believed he would make it. I never let myself believe that death would be the final outcome. Maybe I was naive, or maybe I just believed that if I had enough faith, thought only positive thoughts, that that would somehow will the outcome I had wanted. I hurt for my friend.
This has all lead me to deleting my Facebook page. I haven't done it yet, but I posted last night that I was and left my email for those people who wanted to keep in contact. Ever since then I've been wrestling with that. Because Facebook has brought a lot of people back into my life who I totally enjoy. But it's brought a ton of sadness as well. And I'm not the type of person that can separate myself from it. I feel for people on a level that sometimes I wish I didn't. Maya's son got cancer and died. Before Facebook, Maya and I hadn't talked since I graduated. Amy's husband died suddenly and left her and 3 children behind. He was 36. I hadn't talked to Amy since graduation. Dave's sister was murdered by her ex-husband. I haven't talked to Dave since he graduated. Do you see what I'm getting at? These people's lives through Facebook have directly and indirectly affected mine in such ways I wish selfishly weren't possible. Only because I feel like I'm in a constant state or sorrow, sadness, anger, etc. because of the posts on Facebook. I don't think about these people as adults...I transport myself back to a time when we were kids and how carefree we were, and how we all had these hopes and dreams, and the above experiences would never have been a part of that. I know life is hard, and shit happens, but I'm a super emotional twit, and sometimes I think I just feel too much, and it sends me on a emotional roller coaster that effects everyone around me, and that isn't fair either. Sometimes I feel like I can't post funny stuff to Facebook because it really isn't important when people are dying. So my rash decision is to delete Facebook. As I write this, I don't think I will delete it, but rather suspend it for a while...clean out my "friends" list...get my priorities straight.
I've missed this blog of mine, but lately haven't felt like what I have to say really matters. But, this is my little space that I truly enjoy and I'm going to keep it that way.
Please keep The Thompson Family in your thoughts and prayers.
Be happy.
♥
Olivia
2.21.2011
Changes
So, I've been desperately trying to give up Diet Coke. I've been drinking it for years. As I type this, my mouth is watering. But, I know how bad it really it is for you, so I'm trying to give it up. I feel like if I swear to never drink it again, I'm just setting myself up for failure. So, let's just say, I'm working in other options, in hopes that the luster of the Diet Coke can fades quickly.
First of all, I hate plain water. I mean if it's hot and I'm doing some sort of physical activity...or, more realistically, I've eaten bacon in the last few hours, then I dig some water. Other than that...gag. I just can't force myself to drink it.
That is until Spa Water.
First of all, I hate plain water. I mean if it's hot and I'm doing some sort of physical activity...or, more realistically, I've eaten bacon in the last few hours, then I dig some water. Other than that...gag. I just can't force myself to drink it.
That is until Spa Water.
Delicious.
I've been to two spas in my life and at both, they served this yummy water. I can drink like a gallon in one sitting with some cucumbers and lemon floating in there. Give it a try!
So, I ain't gonna lie. I still need...want...need caffiene. And, I do love coffee, but it does not love me. No matter how I take it, I always end up with heartburn and the burps. Gross. With that, I've decided to exlusively drink tea for my caffiene addiction. It has enough so I don't get a headache, but not as much as Diet Coke or coffee. Win win. I've been reading Aura Joon's blog for quite some time and she drinks tea all day long. I've been reading about the health benefits of drinking tea, and I definitely think it's better than me drinking Diet Coke all day long. I found the loose leaf pure Indian tea that Aura drinks at a local Middle Eastern market called Haji Baba in Tempe. The tea is so good! Now, it tastes just like tea, but the only word that comes to my mind is fresh. It just tastes fresher. I usually drink it without any sweetner, but if I feel like a little sweetness, I'll add agave nectar or pure honey. Simple goodness!
Don't you just love my new tea cup? I love the little lid that goes on top while the loose leaf tea steeps in the little ceramic basket inside the cup! So freaking cute!!
Oh, at Haji Baba there was a simple sign above the order counter that read:
Amen.
♥
Olivia
2.16.2011
2.10.2011
Christmas Presents
Now that Christmas is done and over, I can share the pictures I took for my in laws for Christmas of all the grand kids. I loved how they all turned out.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
♥ ♥ ♥
 |
| My Father-in-Law calls them The Untouchables. My nephew Isaac "Ikey"(5), My Niece Bianca (8), Jr. Mint (2), Penelope (5) |
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| Junior Mint rules this little roost. Bianca is the the Mother Hen. Penelope & Ike are Double Trouble. I refer to them as The Twins as they are only 4 months apart. |
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| Best Friends. Junior Mint is looking for his escape. |
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| Cousins...but more like Sisters. |
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| Fast Forward to when they are 18 & 15. Locking them up. |
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| ♥ ♥ ♥ Love, love, love this sequence. Not planned. Just them. Cousins...more like brother & sister. |
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| My girls. |
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| My boys. |
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| Inseparable. |
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| So close. So sweet. So them. |
♥ ♥ ♥
♥
Olivia
2.08.2011
Keeping It Real. Yo.
I say “yo” a lot. I’m not sure why.
I also say “fuck” a lot. Way more than I should. But, I love the word. During Basic Training in the Army, I remember that as a really big turning point in my life. On one hand I was being controlled to the tiniest detail, and yet we all cussed, well, like sailors. It was like it was the one thing we had control of. Literally. Yeah, we weren’t really supposed to cuss and if you did it outright and were an ass about it, the Drill Sergeants would make you do push-ups or ridicule you beyond belief, but a lot of the time they let it slide. They knew. They’d one been in our shoes. It was an outlet if you will. I remember speaking to my Dad during one of the very limited and random times we were allowed to use the phone, and I was cussing, and my dad said, “Where has my sweet girl gone.” I know I played it off. But the truth was, she was still there, but a new version of me was emerging…the adult in me…the person who didn’t feel like I would get in trouble for saying “fuck”.
I guess I wanted to write this post today because sometimes I feel like I am not the true representation of myself. And it flows over into this blog, and my online presence. I sometimes wrestle with how I should portray myself online. Should I cuss, should I not cuss? Should I talk about work, or not and it goes on and on. Fact is, if we were friends outside of my blog, once our friendship was broken in, I’d cuss. I’d say fuck, and I wouldn’t apologize for it. It’s just who I am. So, this online diary of sorts is me, the good, the sometimes bad, and the ugly. It’s my life…it’s not always wrapped up in a pretty package tied neatly with a satin bow. But, I regularly find myself editing the content of posts to be more “user friendly”, and it’s not me.
And I don’t care anymore if I turn someone off, if they don’t get my humor, if they don’t get my views, if they don’t get me.
There can mosey along.
It’s sometimes hard to keep it real, but bottom line, when you do, it cuts out the bullshit.
Outside of the blog, I also feel like I’m not a true representation of what I feel in my heart and soul. I continually try to box myself into one box, one specific look, one idea…or the idea of what others think that I should be. For instance, I want to get my nose pierced SO. BAD. I have wanted to FOREVER, but I was never vocal about it, so now almost 34 years old, it leaves some people questioning why…not understanding…thinking I’m trying to be something different that I really am. But, truth be told, these are important people in my life that don’t really agree, and for whatever reason, I feel I need to and want to respect them, so I stifle that little bit of my personality. But I understand it, so I'm willing to accept it and move on.
At my job, I totally stifle the real me. Yes, I have a few close friends at work that do know facets of the real me, but not in my entirety. Today, I looked into the mirror at work while washing my hands and looked at my hair, my make-up or lack there of, my clothes and I just thought “this is not you”.
I am not business casual. I am not slicked back pony/bun thing. I am not chap stick and mascara. I am not office slacks and office shirt.
I am crazy curly hair with funky
headbands and funky accessories.
headbands and funky accessories.
I am a little bit beach bum, a little bit
bohemian, a little bit conservative.
bohemian, a little bit conservative.
I am smoky eyes and bright lip gloss.
But somewhere between marriage, kids and working full time, I’ve become the muted-business casual-cubicle dweller…and I can tell you that is not me. The last couple years, I’ve felt the part taking over my life, and I’ve started to put an end to it.
Today’s reflection in the mirror made me realize, we are never too old to realize what we are supposed to be. We can change our minds and it doesn’t mean we don’t know what we want…it just means we don’t see change as something bad.
So raise a glass to change! Here’s to keeping it real, funky and fresh!
As they say, a rolling stone gathers no moss.
That’s great, because green really isn’t my color.
♥Olivia
12.17.2010
What's That Sound? Oh, That's Me...Pumping The Brakes.
I have decided to push back the opening of Chaps Buffalino by a few weeks. I was totally bummed and I am still a little bummed.
But to be honest, I jumped the gun when I did this. It's so typical Olivia behavior. I didn't really take into consideration some important things like vendor relationships and their holiday schedule, and then we have a few personal curveballs that have been thrown our way. Nothing bad, just unexpected things that have taken up my free time.
So, I've been s.t.r.e.s.s.i.n.g. And, with the self-imposed deadline looming and me seemingly miles aways from the finish line, I decided to push it back. I was starting to bargain with myself and wanting to cut corners that probably shouldn't be cut, and deciding that I "really didn't need to do this or that" or "this can wait". Then last night, I stopped and realized I wasn't going to start Chaps Buffalino this way. I have my plan all written out, I don't want to deviate just to meet a deadline that was probably way to lofty to achieve in the first place.
Now I have to admit something...in the past, this type of realization would've stopped me dead in my tracks and I would have quit. I would have been so mad at that I "failed" that I would have given up and wallowed in self-pity. Pathetic, huh? But I'm learning to get past these issues and I guess that is the important part.
Besides, I have accomplished a ton and I am continuing to do so. I just had this vision and I imagined all this free time, but life happens and gets in the way...craft nights at the school, a clingy baby that isn't feeling well and needs some extra snuggle time, a few late nights at work for the hubby, and the holiday rush. Life gets in the way :) But, I'm still super excited to get the Chaps show on the road!
I think the thing I'm most excited about this week is Greg taught me how to maximize my fabric with minimal waste. I shit you not, he drew a diagram complete with a mathematical equation. My way, would've wasted so much. His way, only scraps! See, this is why it has to be a team effort :)
I am really excited about what 2011 will bring, but mostly I'm excited at how much I'm learning to roll with the punches. I have NEVER been good at this, and it's been a detriment to myself big time. I still have a ways to go, but I think I'm learning to adapt and growing as a person, and to me that is as important as anything else.
Thanks for sharing this time with me!
♥
Olivia
But to be honest, I jumped the gun when I did this. It's so typical Olivia behavior. I didn't really take into consideration some important things like vendor relationships and their holiday schedule, and then we have a few personal curveballs that have been thrown our way. Nothing bad, just unexpected things that have taken up my free time.
So, I've been s.t.r.e.s.s.i.n.g. And, with the self-imposed deadline looming and me seemingly miles aways from the finish line, I decided to push it back. I was starting to bargain with myself and wanting to cut corners that probably shouldn't be cut, and deciding that I "really didn't need to do this or that" or "this can wait". Then last night, I stopped and realized I wasn't going to start Chaps Buffalino this way. I have my plan all written out, I don't want to deviate just to meet a deadline that was probably way to lofty to achieve in the first place.
Now I have to admit something...in the past, this type of realization would've stopped me dead in my tracks and I would have quit. I would have been so mad at that I "failed" that I would have given up and wallowed in self-pity. Pathetic, huh? But I'm learning to get past these issues and I guess that is the important part.
Besides, I have accomplished a ton and I am continuing to do so. I just had this vision and I imagined all this free time, but life happens and gets in the way...craft nights at the school, a clingy baby that isn't feeling well and needs some extra snuggle time, a few late nights at work for the hubby, and the holiday rush. Life gets in the way :) But, I'm still super excited to get the Chaps show on the road!
I think the thing I'm most excited about this week is Greg taught me how to maximize my fabric with minimal waste. I shit you not, he drew a diagram complete with a mathematical equation. My way, would've wasted so much. His way, only scraps! See, this is why it has to be a team effort :)
I am really excited about what 2011 will bring, but mostly I'm excited at how much I'm learning to roll with the punches. I have NEVER been good at this, and it's been a detriment to myself big time. I still have a ways to go, but I think I'm learning to adapt and growing as a person, and to me that is as important as anything else.
Thanks for sharing this time with me!
♥
Olivia
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