Someday...

I've lived a lot of my life hinging on the hope of Someday. In the beginning I used it all the time as a way to keep my dreams alive. To not give up. To look forward to something. If you don't have Someday then why get up in the morning? This was my mantra for the better part of my 20's and the first few years of my 30's.


Lately, things are wonky. But, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I've been feeling like I take a left when everybody else is taking a right, but I really want to take a right, but I don't and choose left, then I'm regretting. I hate regret.


My husband has been feeling the same way, but we just couldn't put our fingers on it. Then on the 4th of July he woke me up out of a dead sleep at 1:30 in the morning. He had written this blog and wanted me to read it. Right there in that very second, he had the answer to our woes. It couldn't wait for morning. To be honest, in the moment I was kinda confused...I was groggy after all, but then we had a really deep conversation in the middle of the night that had changed everything.


Someday is bad. Someday is very bad. Someday allows you to fail. Someday allows you talk a big game without producing any real results. Someday allows you to live in a dream world. Someday had been suffocating me...us...for a very long time.


So, on that night, we vowed to not use that word. That doesn't mean we've given up goals and dreams, but we've set realistic expectations and we're going more with the flow. We've stopped freaking out about where we thought we would be versus where we currently are.


Since that night, our moods are much lighter, we have found out that making decisions on some things we wrestled with before are much easier to tackle now that Someday has been banished.


Since this epiphany in our lives, some bizarro stuff has been happening to both of us. I'm a total "sign reader", and I've been getting some pretty heavy signs lately. Usually Greg just kinda looks at me like, "Really, you think that is a sign? Whatever." But, he's been getting some too lately. It's like God is letting us know we've finally figured it out...like it was the magic key for us to unlock the door to the next phase of our lives. We're getting His message loud and clear.


So, the other night we go see the Knight & Day with Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz (usually can't stand these two, but they were great in this movie), and Tom's character says to Cameron's character:


"Someday. That's a dangerous word. **at this point, Greg and I look at each other and our eyes are practically popping out of our heads** It's really just a code for "never"."


Well, you can imagine our surprise. And with that, we promised to stop dwelling on the past, start working on the now, and stop wishing for Someday.